Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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