Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
