Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize