Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
