Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
