I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize