The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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