My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
