peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
