The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
