found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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