can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
