the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We just shotgunned beers for America
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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