i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
