And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
