I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
