I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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