He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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