so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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