this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
