No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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