my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
