We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
