I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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