What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize