What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
