I am puke
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
