I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
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