i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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