We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
