i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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