honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just want nice things and good sex
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
