he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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