oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize