is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
