Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
