drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
soo... how was my night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
