Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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