Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
