i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
