Whod you bang
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
