I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
