fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
