I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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