I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
