Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
