Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
