she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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