Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
