First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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