i jhust puked up my retainher.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is this like a preordered booty call?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
