She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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