I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
