Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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