How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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