there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
