so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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