please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize