Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize