i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
