try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
