my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
