is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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