So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize