I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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