Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
