i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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