he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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