i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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