So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
