can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
