Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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