Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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