At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
