Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
