my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
