I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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