butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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