i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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