i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
