Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
